Knocking International Women's Day on it's head

Do females really support other females?

I read an amazing blog post the other day about how female friendships change in your mid-twenties. And it really got me thinking and inspired this post. Unless you were living under a social media sized rock this Thursday, you’ll know it was international women’s day. And International Women’s day is all about women supporting women, right? But the reality is, even though we don’t like to admit it, how many females are genuinely really supportive of each other’s achievements, relationships, and careers? Read on to discover my thoughts.

International Women’s Day

My experience at university, rightly or wrongly, was always a competitive one. I went to two different universities and definitely saw a pattern with some of my female coursemates. As everyone strives for the top grades and the top jobs, they seemed to be a bitchy underlying tone to it all. Most of the females weren’t genuinely happy for each other’s achievements. But the boys seemed to have a bit of different experience! If they got that amazing job interview or performed well on that exam, it’s just a pat on the back and a ‘well done mate!‘ No bitchy underlining tone to be seen!

My friends supporting me through my achievements

I’ve noticed a change in my friends when I’ve had amazing opportunities come my way. As my blog has grown, I’ve had so-called friends make digs about the experiences and the opportunities that my blog has brought. I’ve been blogging now for over three years. And I’ve put a lot of time, money and effort into growing Life Of Luce. So I don’t really understand why females can’t just be happy for other females when their hard work pays off?
I’ve also had a friend make digs when I got into The University of Leeds and also when I got my job and moved to Sheffield. Moving to a different city two years in a row takes courage. And I also don’t think these opportunities were just handed to me, I’ve had to work for them.

Supporting my female friends

I’m so supportive and happy for my friends when they do well, so I don’t understand why all females aren’t like this? My two best friends have just started blogging and instead of taking a competitive approach, I offered my help! Even creating the WordPress site for one of them. And I genuinely hope their blogs do well because I don’t think life is a competition.
I also don’t think social media helps! Everyone know’s each other’s ‘highlights’ aren’t an accurate reflection of their lives. And my social media is definitely far from the truth! But females are still competing to look prettier or slimmer, or even dress better, than the other females they see as they scroll down. But when you take a step back, who even cares?

Why it’s okay to let go of those unsupporting friends

Like I’ve already said, not all your friends will support you through your decisions, achievements, and regrets. Some of my close circle of friends have changed recently and that’s totally fine! Your twenties are all about change. But as you change, you’ll notice the people around begin to start doing the same.
There’s really nothing worse than tension in a friendship, especially with an unsupporting friend. Sometimes you’ve got to respect yourself enough as a person, to realise not everyone that had a place in your past, deserves to make it into your future. Letting go of people only makes room for new people and new opportunities. And without these new people and new opportunities, you won’t be able to move forward or grow.
Do you truly believe women support other women? Have you experienced unsupportive friendships? Please let me know in the comments! 

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  1. I was literally trying to explain to my boyfriend the other day that I didnt make many good female friends at Uni, I found it incredibly bitchy and competitive, and he said it was probably just my experience! Glad to know it wasn’t. The friends that have stuck now I’m in my 30s are amazing, it’s a small group and we don’t see each other all that often but we’d drop everything to be there when needed and I wouldn’t swap that for all the friends in the world x

    1. Yeah that’s exactly the type of friends I have now. Although I am friends with people from my uni, they were not on my course or they were the exceptions who were actually supportive x

  2. I have to agree when it comes to this post. Friendships in your twenties definitely change. I think it gets much more about quality than quantity.
    Like you i pride myself on supporting others so its so refreshing to see another blogger like it. Great post, you’ve definitely given me a few things to think about.
    Em x

    1. I completely agree! I do find it really sad when friendships drift and fall apart, but I suppose that’s life. Luce x

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