As I’ve got older, I’ve discovered that a betrayal and a breakdown of a friendship, can hurt far worse than a breakdown of a relationship. So for myself, having the right people around me is so important as I’ve got older.
From a young age, I’ve had the saying ‘chick before dick’ drilled into my head (well not in so many words!) And this approach to friendship, is something I feel is very important. For example, you won’t always have a boyfriend or girlfriend to ring every time you’re having a cry over a silly drama…but you will always have a friend to rant to.
However, my problem is the fact I trust people way too easily. And that’s probably why I’ve experienced so many false friends. I think it’s hard not to trust people,until you find a reason otherwise. However at that point, the damage can already have been done. I definitely believe in the saying, treat people as you want to be treated, but unfortunately a lot people won’t do that.I’m not going to write a massive list about people that have done me wrong. However, I will give you a few signs to look out for to make you re-think your friendships.
A bit of an obvious one is a friend that thrives off talking shit about their other friends. I’ve hit an age where bitchiness is not a good trait in a person. And you can guarantee that person is calling all-sorts too. This is obviously a person you can’t trust, and you don’t need in your life. And what’s a friendship without trust really?
Another sign of a false friend, is someone that is very secretive around their phone with a tendency to lie. If you’ve got something to hide from a friend, it’s most likely nothing good is it? I’ve been in a situation where I needed to use a friends phone for internet. Next thing, messages from an ex popped up. The girl then proceeded to go into a different room to delete the messages, and believed this was completely normal behavior. Needless to say, we don’t speak anymore. I did hate the fact I’ve lost a friendship over a lad. But with friendship there comes a level of respect, and the willingness to respect boundaries, and she obviously did not respect mine.
Something I find very important in a friendship, is the willingness to have each other’s backs. Things aren’t always plain sailing in life, and especially at uni, sometimes situations unfold and you need your friends to step in. However, when push comes to shove, some friends can be unwilling to do that for you. I think someone that sits on the fence, is someone that you don’t need in your life.
Lastly, I think another sign of a false friendship, is shown through the effort both friends put into it. If a friendship is not 50/50, it’s not really worth it, is it? I’ve hit a point in my life, where at 22, I’m not willing to chase anyone that won’t ring me or text me back.
Although I’ve found its so true about your circle getting smaller as you get older, especially now I’ve left my first university city. However I would rather have people who support me in life and I can rely on, and vice versa. Rather than deal with mediocre friends, who don’t have my best interests at heart.
Have you experienced false friendships? How did you deal with them? Let me know in the comments!